Who Else Wants the Truth NOW?

No more Lies! I want the Truth NOW!

Do you, like me want the Truth NOW?

Lies are insidious falsehoods that feed off our very Life Blood, from the moment they are said, no matter if we are the victim or perpetrator.

Lies are everywhere, in our own hearts and minds, in the words we utter and even in those we omit. Not saying anything to ‘keep-the-Peace’, is effective yet remain a Lie.

Lies have an unacknowledged but serious effect:

  • Tension is conjured
  • Distrust slowly seeps into the heart
  • The body weakens and becomes sick as it struggles with the weight
  • Energy resources begin to dwindle, it takes effort to maintain
  • They crowd our thinking
  • Lies steal our joy and time

Like a fog, lies descend over the Truth, blanketing it in secrecy and deceit. Only to be uncovered by those who are brave enough to seek the Truth diligently.

Ask yourself “Am I brave enough to face the Truth?”. If your answer is yes, begin by Subscribing, this way you will intermittently receive notification of educational Blog Post like these.

Then do a little introspection; do your reactions to the Truth elicit more of it? Do you know how to keep the flow of honesty going, and perhaps even extract a confession?

I have first hand experience of becoming ‘brave enough’. I have been the perpetrator and the victim, just like everyone else. Living with both Lies and the Truth, is part of growing up. And, hopefully, as we mature we choose the Truth. We develop the courage, yes it takes lots of courage, to speak and act truthfully.

And so it is, I want the Truth Now!

What is Truth, and what is it not?

Truth is fact that is backed by evidence and/or witness.

Truth is not an interpretation, a sense, a suspicion, nor is it and opinion.

We expect Truth to be present in our homes, our work environment. Our relationships should be based on it. Our media and government should respect it. Yet sadly, it is not.

The Hard and Ugly Truth

Truth is seldom easy to express, and still I prefer it over it’s destructive counterpart. With Truth everyone knows what they’re dealing with, an attitude can be adjusted, an opinion amended, suspicion eradicated.

With Truth:

  • Trust can be restored
  • Relationships heal
  • Peace-of-Mind is regained
  • Forgiveness has an open door
  • Co-operation to find a solution is ensured

 

Can you elicit more Truth?
Can you elicit more Truth?
To become the #TruthSeekers

To be #TruthSeekers, our eyes, hearts and minds need to be wide open.

The Truth rings in our ears and tastes sweet, and is light while Lies stink, weigh heavy and are difficult to swallow.

Remember, something that sounds too good to be true, usually is. Here are some tips to Knowing if you are being lied to.

To elicit the Truth you need to remain calm when the information begins to flow. For more guidance here is Our TEACHSHEET, tips to getting someone to tell you the truth…

TEACHSHEET

 

Following these tips, a confession is just an interview away.

Alternatively, you could always contact the professionals to Verify the Truth and Detect the Lies.

Want to become part of the #TruthSeekers?

We do what we do, Lie Detecting, because we are #TruthSeekers.

Anyone else feel as strongly as I do about Lies? Who else prefers the Truth?

If this is you, then SHARE and COMMENT and let’s get the conversation going between #TruthSeekers!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stop Dishing up that Can of Bullshit

If I tell a painful but necessary truth, I take the risk of not being liked, being resented, or worse, rejected. And, most of the time we distort the truth in order to manipulate, and through manipulation we control. Therefore we lie. In other words, dishing up the proverbial can of Bullshit.

Telling the Truth is hard, and we give up control of other people, yet there is incredible power in the truth and is necessary for a fulfilling life.

As easy as Lying is, I say Stop Dishing up that Can of Bullshit!

Let me share with you why you should cease with the Bullshit already!

  • First of all truth allows for change and growth – No change is possible without knowing the truth; I cannot change something in myself if I’m not aware that it is there and needs to be changed.
  • Telling the Truth brings you peace of mind – It speaks of integrity, exposes your deeper values and hence you are a good friend, partner, parent or colleague.
  • Further more telling the Truth is a sign of love – Really caring for friends and family we must be willing to tell them what they don’t want to hear.
  • Truth earns respect – When you consistently tell the truth others will seek you out when needing feedback and listen.
  • Truth creates deeper connections – Telling the truth makes us vulnerable, this will encourage your friends and family to be open their hearts too.

Bullshit free Zone

In Conclusion

Bullshit has a definite fragrance that people can smell when it comes their way.

Truth is power, with it we live in integrity and when we deliver it with love, people won’t get defensive and your consideration will be appreciated.

Reference:

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What I gained In Search of My Truth

I’m old enough to say “Looking back over my life…” and not regret a single day. Yes, there have been many days, months, even years that I could have lived and loved differently.  But, then I wouldn’t have the experience of life I do now. Searching for my Truth has been a very rewarding journey!

What I gained In Search of My Truth:

FREEDOM

  • I am free from doubting myself automatically
  • I am free from self-sabotage
  • I am free from being a victim of circumstance
  • I am free from blaming others
  • I am free from worry

The list is endless!

KNOWING

  • I know that my imagination is my most powerful ally or enemy. How I choose to implement it, is up to me
  • I know that my outer life is always a reflection of my inner life. Everything I experience as happening to me externally, I have already committed to myself internally
  • I have the power to change my outer experience in the instant that I change my inner experience
  • I am the Creator of My Life. I build my experiences by my attitude and EVERYTHING/EVERYONE holds an opportunity for growth and love. Yes, even those traumatic, life threatening ones!
  • I know that what I can’t take with me when I ‘die’, is not worthy of concern. My pursuit of earthly things is not to accumulate but to experience my own creative power which is only half of what I will take with me
  • I know that the experience of learning how to love and be loved, is the other half

Of course, this Freedom & Knowing wasn’t gained easily. They came hand-in-hand with Responsibility.  I have had to take full responsibility for my whole life. The good and bad. Recognizing that the positions, places & circumstances I find myself in are completely, wholly as a result of my very own decisions.

This is a painful and necessary maturing process.

What I gained and lost in search of my truth

What I Lost in Search of My Truth

  • I no longer subscribe to the illusion that when/if my actions and words hurt others, I am a bad person
  • I do not make it nice for everyone, especially for my children, family and loved ones – how they choose to experience their lives, is their choice, just as it is mine
  • I do not need to be approved by others. My own approval through careful consideration is all that is required. And, if this careful consideration results in having to acknowledge that I indeed do not approve, then having the courage to change until I do
  • I no longer fear (emotional- that is, I am still working on losing physical fear :)) I do not fear hurt or not being loved. This is all part of life and the experience therefor depends again on my attitude
  • I do not support scarcity; I am the Creator of My Life and therefore I experience abundance in every form

The search of My Truth finally brought me to the edge of peace, yet with the excitement that life is still to be lived, loved and enjoyed in every moment!

Are you on a similar journey, have you also gained some wisdom on the way? I certainly hope that you have – why not let me know……?

I intend for your engagement on Social Media, please feel free to leave your comment.

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Get Over That Lie

Have you been deceived in one way or another and struggling to Get Over That Lie?

It is devastating when we have been deceived by a spouse, partner, family member, business partner or employee; we’ve put our trust into this person and feel betrayed and hurt. Even worse, we feel responsible.

Honesty-Humility

“Researchers have studied this tendency and labelled it Honesty-Humility,” says Notre Dame Professor Anita Kelly, Ph.D., in a Psychology Today blog post. “Individuals high on this trait are sincere, modest, fair-minded, and non-greedy. They do not exploit others, even when there would be no retaliation for doing so. Individuals at the low end of this trait, on the other hand, are dishonest, haughty, and arrogant. They lack empathy and exploit others.”

The more decent we are, the easier it is for manipulators to deceive. “There is recent evidence that honest people tend to see others, particularly close others, as more honest than they actually are,” Kelly writes. We give liars the benefit of the doubt by believing that others are like us. The opposite also true; Liars believe others to be as dishonest as they are, “and thus see even honest partners as deserving to be exploited.”

This combination is lethal, and in addition dishonest people spent a lot of time learning how to be trustworthy.

In conclusion, the chances of an honest person being taken for a ride, taken advantage of and lied to are very high. When this happens, how to move on?

How to Get Over That Lie?

  • Relax

When you’ve been taken advantage of by a talented liar or master manipulator, it just means you’re honest.

  • Forgive yourself for being fooled.

The responsibility for the harm done is not yours.

  • Don’t give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

A consistent liar may not become truthful just because their deception has been exposed, not even when they have confessed voluntarily.

Be a step ahead of the game, learn the facial expressions, phrases and behaviours that usually signal a lie.

(Not yet subscribed? Get our FREE eBook here – 16 Tips To Knowing If You Are Being Lied To)

  • Check things out.

Ask for corroboration of a statement such as references, bank account statements, the chance to do an on-site inspection, or other independent verification. Further, if someone invites you to check out their references, past history, or anything else, always take them up on it, and REALLY do it!

  • Trust is earned.

Trust should not be automatic, let your trust be earned by action as opposed to word only.

http://vsapoly.co.za/over-lie/

If you’ve been challenged by lies and deceit, don’t allow yourself to wallow in the negativity.  Breathe. Take stock. Learn from the experience and move on.

 

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Fallen Heroes become Truth Heroes

Heroes are people who teach and inspire us. My heroes are those who have faced the darkness of their past, and survived.  In my view Fallen Heroes become Truth Heroes, when they take responsibility for their actions.

Should Heroes be exempt?

Even the most high-profile of household names can have dark pasts, heroes definitely aren’t perfect, yet they carry a tremendous amount of influence.  But when every word is recorded and every mishap is news, heroes are under even more pressure to behave perfectly. Our Heroes are human beings who transcend above the rest of us, but like the billions of other humans on this Earth, they are just as equally flawed. So, should our heroes be exempt from criticism, should they be allowed a free pass? Some would argue yes. Given the strain of living under a microscope, it’s natural for them to be human and slip.

I put forward that our Heroes are not like us. Of course they are human like the rest of us but they are greatly influential too, often shaping the culture we live in.   While that is admittedly a lot of pressure to carry, it should most definitely come with responsibility.

Examples from History

As evident from history, hero worship can easily go from brushing aside simple misunderstandings to blindly ignoring actual crimes;

  • First of all Woody Allen sexually assaulted his daughter and is still revered in Hollywood.
  • Also Sean Penn assaulted Madonna to the point of near death yet presented an Oscar last year.
  • Another is Chris Brown who beat Rihanna publicly and is on a national tour.
  • In addition, Eminem built his entire career on violent misogyny and has won 28 awards as a result.
  • Finally, Bill Cosby raped an entire slew of women and his comedy tour sold out.

These are blatant acts of terror that we collectively ignored in the name of hero worship.

Be accountable

If heroes are indeed human beings, then they deserve to be treated like one, including being held accountable for their actions.

Like the rest of us, they need to understand their actions so in turn, they can help others promote better values and behaviour.  They should not be in conflict with their obligations as a good human, and we are definitely not exempt from calling out lies as we see it.

So beyond the fanfare, after the scandal, when the truth is finally out, admitted and confessed, Fallen Heroes become Truth Heroes.

Fallen Heroes become Truth Heroes
Hansie Cronje
Fallen Heroes become Truth Heroes
Joost Van Der Westhuizen
Fallen Heroes become Truth Heroes
Lance Armstrong

Heroes like Hansie, Joost & Lance, who eventually told the truth and in my opinion redeemed themselves, thus remain my Heroes.

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McBride challenges Mokotedi to a Lie Detector Test

What I experienced when Robert McBride challenged Prince Mokotedi to a lie detector test.

December 2016 offered the opportunity to be involved in the well-known McBride Lie Detector Challenge with Mokotedi.

Gauteng Hawks head Prince Mokotedi leveled allegations of treason, conspiracy to murder and espionage against a group who allegedly plotted to cause the downfall of the president. McBride among others, was named in an affidavit containing these allegations that was used to open a docket on Monday 2016-12-12.

He responded by challenging Mokotedi to a Lie Detector Test who accepted initially but subsequently refused.

McBride submitted himself for a Lie Detector Test.

The mandate from our client was to determine whether any of the allegations made against McBride as described in Mokotedi’s affidavit, were true. The copy of the affidavit received had no Commissioner of Oath signature, nor the signature of Mokotedi. It was confirmed to be the affidavit used by Mokotedi to inform those concerned of the docket that was opened, and was the only copy available.

This presented the necessity to first authenticate the affidavit.

At our request McBride signed a statement confirming the affidavit in our possession to be a true and unaltered copy of Mokotedi’s affidavit. The veracity of McBride’s statement was then determined by our examiner Dolph Visagie. This initial Polygraph examination indicated a result of No Deception:  The examinee was truthful when answering the Relevant Questions of;

  1. (NO) “Did you lie in this statement?”
  2. (NO) “Is this statement a lie?”

Only then we were able to turn our attention to our mandate.

A second Polygraph was conducted with McBride indicating No Deception:  The examinee was truthful when answering the Relevant Questions of;

  1. (NO) “Are any of the allegation in that affidavit true?”
  2. (NO) “Are you in anyway involved in any of the allegations in that affidavit?”
  3. (NO) “Do you know for sure who is involved in any of the allegations in that affidavit?”

So, what did I experience as a professional from this McBride Lie Detector Test?

  • No Polygraph can be public. We insisted on the examination taking place in private and at a neutral venue. We rented the testing facility at the Omega Training Academy; a big thank you to our hosts Wessel Kritzinger and Roy Rawlins.
  • An examinee is an examinee. McBride was subjected to the Polygraphs strictly following protocol, there was no preferential treatment.
  • The client is the only recipient of the results. Despite pressure from the media, results remain confidential and are reported to the client only. This blog post was published with permission.

 And, on the lighter side I experienced that:

  • There is no such thing as time off in the Lie Detecting Industry
  • Reporters wear very casual clothes but have a stylish jacket on hand
  • Notorious/Famous Celebrities can fluster ordinary folks
  • Notorious/Famous Celebrities are just people too

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Live a life of Honesty

All around us Life is pulsating with inspiration to live a life of Honesty and Truth. It is courageous to live such a life. A Life in the present moment, the here-and-now, rather than distracted by our fears and doubts.

As soon as we succumb to our fears and doubts, Lies easily substitute the Truth – we tell ourselves the first Lie, that the Truth will hurt more. From experience I can tell you that THE TRUTH HURTS LESS – especially in relationships.

I find much Inspiration to live a life of Honesty in music, recently I came across this band:

Harem Scarem:

They are a Canadian hard rock band from TorontoOntario. Harem Scarem achieved popularity in Japan and their native Canada in the early 1990s. The band was active from 1987 to 2008 and again from 2013 after reforming. Throughout their career, they released 13 studio albums, plus numerous live and compilation albums.

Live Life of Honesty

In particular their Song Honestly, had much meaning for me during and after my divorce. In my opinion the meaning of the song is simply about our desire to mend a broken heart, and subsequently having the courage to ask for a second chance.

Here are the Lyrics:

“I stand before you, accused of many crimes
But I want to believe that love can still survive
You don’t have to say it, I don’t have to read your mind
To know the emptiness that’s finally arrived
How was I, to know the right from wrong
Words were hardly spoken, so where did I go wrong?
Tell me honestly, if you’re still loving me
Looking into my eyes, honestly
Words have more meaning, if they’re said at certain times
I need you now so I can feel alive
How would you know it, you wont give me sometime
To see if everything could work out, and you’d be mine
Oh, will love be lost forever or someday I may find
The words that I’ve been searching for
Are just some peace of mind…
Tell me honestly, if you’re still loving me
Looking into my eyes, honestly…
All the night I sit and wonder
Must be more to laugh, I’m sure that
Days and years gone by while I am
Living with the…
Oh, lonely feeling”

What meaning does it have for you?

 

Reference: History of Harem Scarem, YouTube Clip, Lyrics of Honestly

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The Truth in Half the Time

Getting to the Truth in half the time means we have to Be Truthful all the time. It takes practice and courage. Anything other than the truth is lying.

Getting to the Truth in half the Time means we have to Be Truthful all the Time.

Being truthful ourselves takes practice and courage. This is the only way to get to the Truth.

Dishonesty comes in many shapes and sizes. There are lies we tell in error while others are brazen and  bold-faced, in addition, there are white lies, those we believe will protect loved ones, but actually protect ourselves.

Still it’s all lying just the same.

Get to the Truth Half the Time
Being honest takes practice and courage

Identifying a Lie

The ‘shapes’ and ‘sizes’ of Lies are mostly forms of dishonesty that masquerade as acceptable behavior, such as:

  • Misrepresentation – Spinning a story, representing opinion as fact
  • Omission – deliberately leaving out key information
  • Fabrication – spreading gossip or rumor
  • Exaggeration – stretching reality
  • Denial – Refusing to accept responsibility

Being Truthful

Any way you cut it, when we distort the truth, we put our credibility at risk, while lowering our personal standards of honesty. Remember, BIG or small….. a lie is a lie. Furthermore a lie repeated many times doesn’t change the truth. Additionally one or many believers don’t determine the truth or untruth.

There is no excuse for dishonesty. NONE. As someone once said, “The truth doesn’t cost anything, but a lie could cost you everything.”

The value of honesty cannot be overstated. When you stand for honesty, you believe in yourself and everything you represent. When you stand for honesty everything you say carries the voice of credibility.

Get to the Truth in Half the Time:

  • Think before you speak
  • Say what you mean and mean what you say
  • Bend over backward to communicate in an open and honest fashion
  • Simplify your statements so that everyone clearly understands your message
  • Tell it like it is

The truth shouldn’t be told only when it is convenient, rather, honesty must be a way of life. Honesty means that you care deeply about trust, cherish your relationships, and value the importance of a solid reputation.

Honesty means that you try to do your best and are willing to accept the consequences of your actions.

In conclusion, Honesty means that you respect others enough to tell them the truth and that you value your opinion of yourself enough to never live a lie. As the saying goes, “It’s simple. Never lie to someone who trusts you, and never trust someone who lies to you.” That’s why it’s critical to always tell the truth — or the truth will tell on you. Honest.

Sources & Citations: Frank Sonnenberg

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Tell the Truth and Profit

Is it possible to Tell the Truth and Profit?

To Tell the Truth is an American television panel game show created by Bob Stewart and produced by Goodson-Todman Productions. It aired in various forms since 1956 both on networks and in syndication.  The show is one of two game shows in the United States to have aired at least one new episode in at least seven consecutive decades, as of June 14, 2016.

A total of 26 seasons of the various versions of To Tell the Truth have been produced including the 2016 version, and this subsequently surpasses the 25 of What’s My Line? and the 20 of I’ve Got a Secret.

A way to tell the Truth and Profit
To Tell the Truth Game Show set

A way To Tell the Truth and Profit? I say!!

The show features a panel of four celebrities whose object is the correct identification of a described contestant who has an unusual occupation or has undergone an unusual experience. This ‘central character’ is therefore accompanied by two impostors who pretend to be the central character; together, the three persons are said to belong to a ‘team of challengers’.

The celebrity panelists pose questions to the three contestants; the impostors are allowed to lie, but the central character is sworn “to tell the truth.”

After questioning, the panel attempts to identify which of the three challengers is telling the truth and is thus the central character.

I first came across this game show while watching a Leonardo Di Caprio movie – Catch Me if you Can

Tell the Truth and Profit
Tell the Truth Frank Abagnale Jr

This was a movie depicting the life story of Frank William Abagnale Jr.  I was impressed by this young man’s ability to be whoever he wanted to be, albeit fraudulently, without being caught.  Of course he was caught in the end, and, because he was so good at fraud, he was hired to catch others!

 Has Telling the Truth brought you Profit?

 Sources & Citations – Wikipedia

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Mistakes do happen!

Errors in the Lie Detecting game can happen anytime during the process of booking an appointment, conducting the actual test through to sending the result and invoice…. and they have….

Mistakes in the Truth Verification industry is not unheard of; greatly avoided, but they do happen!

Errors in the Lie Detecting game can happen anytime during the process of booking an appointment, conducting the actual test through to sending the result and invoice…. and they have….

Mistakes must be avoided

Oversights while detecting deception are never accepted nor forgiven – your reputation as an examiner as well as that of the company represented, hang in the balance. And what to do when they DO happen?

Here’s a story from Henriette, our Founder and Principle Examiner:

“A few years ago, while still doing all the administrative work myself I made the mistake of short-cutting the typing time of a report by copying a previously typed report and not typing a new report from the correct Template.  This proved to be a very embarrassing and costly mistake! All the information on the report was accurate except for one short paragraph right at the end of the report; where the examiner has an opportunity to give further observation or advice.  At this point my oversight was to leave a comment applicable to a previous report, copied here! And, of course as it should be, the client picked up on this immediately; they called and demanded an explanation – of course I was mortified!”

AND HOW TO DEAL WITH MISTAKES?

“Even though I made the effort to see the client and the examinee to apologize in person, that one error ended very badly – I lost the client and probably until today that client will not trust this company, or me again.  And, since there is no faster travelling news than bad news, it is impossible to determine the impact that one mistake has had over the years.”

“While mistakes in this industry are to be avoided at all cost – they can happen. The best way to deal with them, as in life in general, own up. Admit to the mistake, apologize, learn from it and move on!”