Get Over That Lie

Have you been deceived in one way or another and struggling to Get Over That Lie?

It is devastating when we have been deceived by a spouse, partner, family member, business partner or employee; we’ve put our trust into this person and feel betrayed and hurt. Even worse, we feel responsible.

Honesty-Humility

“Researchers have studied this tendency and labelled it Honesty-Humility,” says Notre Dame Professor Anita Kelly, Ph.D., in a Psychology Today blog post. “Individuals high on this trait are sincere, modest, fair-minded, and non-greedy. They do not exploit others, even when there would be no retaliation for doing so. Individuals at the low end of this trait, on the other hand, are dishonest, haughty, and arrogant. They lack empathy and exploit others.”

The more decent we are, the easier it is for manipulators to deceive. “There is recent evidence that honest people tend to see others, particularly close others, as more honest than they actually are,” Kelly writes. We give liars the benefit of the doubt by believing that others are like us. The opposite also true; Liars believe others to be as dishonest as they are, “and thus see even honest partners as deserving to be exploited.”

This combination is lethal, and in addition dishonest people spent a lot of time learning how to be trustworthy.

In conclusion, the chances of an honest person being taken for a ride, taken advantage of and lied to are very high. When this happens, how to move on?

How to Get Over That Lie?

  • Relax

When you’ve been taken advantage of by a talented liar or master manipulator, it just means you’re honest.

  • Forgive yourself for being fooled.

The responsibility for the harm done is not yours.

  • Don’t give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

A consistent liar may not become truthful just because their deception has been exposed, not even when they have confessed voluntarily.

Be a step ahead of the game, learn the facial expressions, phrases and behaviours that usually signal a lie.

(Not yet subscribed? Get our FREE eBook here – 16 Tips To Knowing If You Are Being Lied To)

  • Check things out.

Ask for corroboration of a statement such as references, bank account statements, the chance to do an on-site inspection, or other independent verification. Further, if someone invites you to check out their references, past history, or anything else, always take them up on it, and REALLY do it!

  • Trust is earned.

Trust should not be automatic, let your trust be earned by action as opposed to word only.

http://vsapoly.co.za/over-lie/

If you’ve been challenged by lies and deceit, don’t allow yourself to wallow in the negativity.  Breathe. Take stock. Learn from the experience and move on.

 

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Mistakes do happen!

Errors in the Lie Detecting game can happen anytime during the process of booking an appointment, conducting the actual test through to sending the result and invoice…. and they have….

Mistakes in the Truth Verification industry is not unheard of; greatly avoided, but they do happen!

Errors in the Lie Detecting game can happen anytime during the process of booking an appointment, conducting the actual test through to sending the result and invoice…. and they have….

Mistakes must be avoided

Oversights while detecting deception are never accepted nor forgiven – your reputation as an examiner as well as that of the company represented, hang in the balance. And what to do when they DO happen?

Here’s a story from Henriette, our Founder and Principle Examiner:

“A few years ago, while still doing all the administrative work myself I made the mistake of short-cutting the typing time of a report by copying a previously typed report and not typing a new report from the correct Template.  This proved to be a very embarrassing and costly mistake! All the information on the report was accurate except for one short paragraph right at the end of the report; where the examiner has an opportunity to give further observation or advice.  At this point my oversight was to leave a comment applicable to a previous report, copied here! And, of course as it should be, the client picked up on this immediately; they called and demanded an explanation – of course I was mortified!”

AND HOW TO DEAL WITH MISTAKES?

“Even though I made the effort to see the client and the examinee to apologize in person, that one error ended very badly – I lost the client and probably until today that client will not trust this company, or me again.  And, since there is no faster travelling news than bad news, it is impossible to determine the impact that one mistake has had over the years.”

“While mistakes in this industry are to be avoided at all cost – they can happen. The best way to deal with them, as in life in general, own up. Admit to the mistake, apologize, learn from it and move on!”

 

Understanding How Lie Detecting Works

Our minds being as creative as they are, can conjure up some really amazing stories; In regard to Truth Verification this is very helpful indeed! What Detection of Deception relies on however is the relationship between MIND & BODY.

Huh? How does this Work?

While the MIND can lie, the BODY cannot!

How does this Work?

Our minds being as creative as they are, can conjure up some really amazing stories. In regard to Truth Verification this is the Cornerstone!

What Detection of Deception relies on is the relationship between MIND & BODY.

Through the Autonomous Nervous System the BODY is able to respond to mental images of the MIND – then the BODY responds with feelings.

Feelings are the subtle, visceral sensations passing through the physiology and biology triggered by hormonal/chemical release from the Neurology.

This originally was action-ed by the thoughts passing through the mind.

How again?

The Autonomous Nervous System’s (ANS) job is to either activate or relax the body. When mind and body is congruent the BODY is relaxed.

However, when the mind lies the ANS will activate the body. This system is so sensitive that even the slightest non-truth passing through our imagination, has the result of many subtle sensations being experienced in the body.

So, does it Work?

A lie in thought and made real by words activates the body in such a way that these reactions to in-congruence, can be measured.

YES, it Works!!

Does it Work?

POLYGRAPH measures;

  • Cardiovascular
  • Electrodermal
  • Respiratory changes in the body.

VOICE STRESS ANALYSIS with AVSAPRO records change in the voice.

For both methodologies the data captured is used to offer a result.

  • No Deception Indicated (NDI)
  • Deception Indicated (DI)
  • Inconclusive

Remember, Neither result confirms the subject did, or did not commit the act – results only indicate a reaction to the questions asked; did their body, or did their body not, react when answering the relevant questions.

YEAR END BREAK – Prepare properly!

We know that especially during a holiday the last thing you expect or need, is to be a victim of #crime, #fraud, #lies and #deceit. So, we urge you to prepare properly, be vigilant, take care of your business and personal surroundings in such a way that you and your family remain safe and unharmed

The end of 2015 is so near the excitement can be felt in the air!

Prepare properly!

Receive our best wishes of peace and harmony for you and your family over this well earned break. May you not be in need of Truth Verification.

May you be spared from Deception and Lies!

We know that especially during a holiday the last thing you expect or need, is to be a victim of crime, fraud, lies and deceit. So, we urge you to prepare properly, be vigilant, take care of your business and personal surroundings in such a way that you and your family remain safe and unharmed.

We expose ourselves to harm and danger because we are unaware of our surroundings, keep an awareness of the people around you at all times, criminals look just like you and I, they are everywhere, remember – “A hungry dog hunts best.” —Lee Trevino (golfer)

Prepare for the Holidays

Prepare

Peace-of-mind is key to a successful holiday, so keep these following tips in mind and action them before you take your break!

Travelling

  • If you will be travelling, make sure your vehicle is in top condition
  • Your insurance is in order
  • Tracking devices are indeed linked and active

Home

  • Make sure your home’s alarm system is active and connected to a Control Room and Response of some kind
  • Test all beams, eyes, connector plates and panic buttons actually work
  • Arrange with a neighbor to keep an eye on your property in addition to your security company’s regular visits

Valuables

  • Cash – never keep cash all in one place, separate and keep in different locations, even better, have as little cash on you as possible at all times
  • Cell phones – make sure these are not just lying around, keep them in zipped pockets and charge batteries at every possible opportunity so you are never caught not being able to communicate
  • Handbags – keep out of plain site at all times and only carry the most necessary content. Place them between your feet at restaurants, not on the seat next to you

What else can/need you do to be safe and worry-free this holiday?

KEEP OUR NUMBER CLOSE AT HAND if in need of the Truth!

Written by Henriette Joubert, based on experience.